my daily rants

untitled

2008-02-21T06:25:00.000-08:00

i've been thinking a lot recently. lots of thoughts flooding my head. sigh. perhaps we just arent meant to be together. there's been lots said about girls needing a sense of security and stuff like that. but do girls realise that guys need that too?

i guess i really do envy weiyang and his girlfriend. still going strong after such a long time, staying faithful by his side everyday, doing sweet nothings for him to bring into camp. hahaha. i hope/know they will get married one day. and i'll be so happy for them. i guess they really found true love.

in the shadow of the day

2008-02-18T13:57:00.000-08:00

i'm not going to hate you, because that makes me a small man. yet i believe that with whatever decisions you will make in life, just do not regret them, like i have. yet, to my surprise after some reflection, the only thing i regret is not treating you well enough in the past. im not saying that i havent treated you well. but i believe that in the past, whatever small things i did were appreciated. yet now, times have changed. perhaps i have done too many things recently for her, things done so often that it is not even appreciated, or even moved you. haha.. reflecting to the past, i was so naive. i believed that you will never leave me, or never even fall for another guy, because you loved me with all your heart. all other guys were just mere shadows of the day in your eyes. yet now, so much for the fairytale bullshit :( i really want to let this fairytale go, to start living in reality. yet, there's this very very small part of me that wants to continue believing in this fairytale, to hold on to my destiny. and i know that if i let this fairytale go, it will never come back. however, if i have to, then i guess i will have to. but i have to move on if i have to. i cannot let my family, friends or even myself down, because there are so many people out there who care for me. sighhh.. i guess this is karma on my part. i should have appreciated her more. to let her feel this really strong sense of security that i will never let her go. so if she does move on, i will wish her only the best with her new beau. i guess i have done as much as i can already and i really cannot do more. i really cant. but her letters written to me in the past keep me going. i will never throw them away, because they are the greatest treasures in my life.

thank god i have tubby and my penguin to hug every night to sleep.

anyway, yesterday i headed down to Singapore Discovery Centre for some total defence day shit, but there was a bazaar outside and instead of going in all of us stayed outside to have a look at the booths. i did this fortune telling kinda thing with some old lady at the counter and she gave me a slip of paper describing my personality which is surprisingly, and spine-chilling-ly very true. LOL so dumb of me i only realised i didnt read it ytd and left it in my breast pocket. anyway, this is what it said :

you are a very strong willed man who would give up anything to get what you want, but you would never do anything against your morals to achieve your goals. you strongly believe in true love and you would never let a loved one down for personal, selfish needs. You have a very strong character who might be intimidating on the outside, but deep inside you are a man full of compassion and a heart of gold. you often do charity when you have the ability to, and that makes you feel good. however, you are easily influenced by your friends and family and this is your weakness. Within this month you might recieve calls from past enemies and also your ex-spouse/girlfriend/wife, wanting to make up with you. stick strong with what you strongly believe and you will see the clear path to follow.

LIKE WTF?! well i was in my bunk when i read this and i was FLABBERGASTED. i've never been a person to deeply believe in fortune telling, but now im really surprised. well, i will definitely stick to what i strongly believe. i dont want to get myself in a sticky situation now, do i? hahaha.

-congrats to 68/07 BRAVO WING for winning the PAC, with platoon 1 in 1st place and plt 2 in 2nd place!

2008-02-15T05:48:00.000-08:00

sad realisation of the day ; looks like you dont need my company anymore. haha

happy valentine's day to all!:)

2008-02-13T15:17:00.000-08:00

GOOD MORNING WORLD!

well, to start off, happy valentine's day to all! hahaha sadly i'll probably be spending it either in camp or maybe home, if im lucky.
just came back from CSB package last afternoon, which gave me many souveniers on my body.
lots of abrasions and bruises. but oh well i'll live.
had a nice pep talk with ben the fat chitalian last night. thanks fatty, i'll take what you say into consideration for sure. dont worry.
i realised whenever i'm down and out, the only people that will always be there for me without fail is my family. especially my brothers. haha family before anything else man.
probably heading to ikea this weekend to check out furniture for my room then at night i'll probably head to jumbo with Gina's family for jumbo. thanks for the invite, auntie!:)
after that it's party time! dxo with errol, arif, alexius and mengkiat. haha it's been a really long time since we last hung out and stuff. time for drinks man! haha.
wtf check out justin timberlake's bod on calvin klein ads. time to work out!

to end with a quote from last night's pep talk;
never commit to something you aren't even sure of - ben the fat chitalian.

god...

2008-02-11T04:38:00.000-08:00

god why am i feeling this way?! she's free now. why should i feel upset and jealous?!

maybe ben was right. so i AM Mr Backside.

new beginning, new blog

2008-02-10T17:44:00.000-08:00

hello people!!!
haha anyway i decided to start a new blog. the old one was way, wayyyyyyy too dark. anyway im in camp now. yeah and that sucks.
got a test coming up later on operations order, whereas i studied AOS. what a fuckshit.
oh and im going to revamp my room over the weekend. and i need helpers!! lots of them! anyone up for it? repainting and refurnishing. haha think it'll be fun.
sigh anyway i guess now i am a free man. yet not available. how do i explain it? i have no idea.

can't wait to fall into your arms again.